Monday, May 14, 2007
Universal Love
I've something to share with you. Just you.
Hold on! I'm not talking about world peace and stopping violence in the entire world.
I'll scale down to a smaller scope. Interpersonal relationships between human beings.
Being the Ohana Leader for the past 2 years, I learnt that it's virtually impossible to please everyone. So I heard one of my friends telling me this phrase,
"Kent, it's not possible to please everyone. It's way too difficult to make everyone happy. However, wouldn't it be much easier to just please yourself?"
My first reaction was to laugh. On a second thought, I guess why not? Then again, although I'm not totally selfless, I'm not that selfish either. To me, being true and sincere to those who believe in you that should suffice by how far we should allow our heart to trust that individual or even an organization.
I won't say I learnt a lot in Ohana, but dealing with youth nowadays... truthfully speaking, it isn't easy at all. There's so much to tolerate, so much to endure and so much to put up with. I didn't really tell anyone of one such incident but I'll only open up to my soul mates perhaps.
It was a 48 hours of hell, literally when I'd my 1st Ohana Chalet in June 2005. When I thought it's going to be so much fun and laughter, several incidents made me remember this particular chalet for life.
The first thing that happened was, someone actually vomited in the bathroom sink. He did not inform anyone but to return to his corner in the room and keep quiet about it. I was the first one to realize it and I was totally helpless. Thank god I've my company mate around to help me. Don't ask why a company mate is doing at Ohana Chalet. He CLEARED up the entire mess. Using bare hands, he dug out the remains of the vomit (It was laksa or some noodle like stuff) and throw into the toilet bowl. Being already tired, I was very touched. It was like a plea in my heart and he could hear me asking for help.
The second thing that happened was this drunkard kid (under 15 yr old) was like drunk in the chalet (duh). He keep vomiting and making a lot of noise. Do note the chalet was registered under my name and I was still in NS. Guess the consequences I will be facing if I'm caught allowing an underage to drink under my registered name. Anyway, he was drunk and he declared that he is Schizophrenic. He started to taunt girls to play strip poker and want to have sex with them. (Sorry for being crude but yes he actually said those words).
We got worried and tried to contact his parents, he was smart enough to request to use the washroom and delete the contacts before he gave his cell phone to us. But not entirely that smart because we can check from the 'dialed number'. We called his parents to request them to fetch him back. We lied that he was having a headache and he lied that he was having a school camp here ==". When we hand him over to his parents, we all thought it was all over. It was 2am in the morning. Suddenly, he called and says his parents found out that he's a Schizophrenic and abandoned him. When his mum called, she told us a different story, she told us that he lied that he left his specs behind and he was going back to get it back and didn't return ever since.
He claimed that Ohana Chalet is his only home now. We immediately rushed out to stop him from coming back to the chalet and he simply lied down in the middle of Downtown East chalets and insists that he want to go back to the chalet. As we look around, there was a gang fight around 50m away from the place he lied down and not intending to move. We were very worried as there were policemen patrolling around due to the gang fight. We'd to persuade him to return to his parents.
Third incident was that there were missing wallets and bags in the chalet. A number of wallets are missing. There were around 2-3 of them missing. I was quite disappointed as it will be our own members who will steal the stuffs around because they're the only group around for the entire chalet. However I can't blame anyone because they were a huge crowd. There were around 40-50 of them.
Fourth incident, I broke down totally. It was the beginning to my realization that Universal Love is not possible in this world. I cannot please everyone. I'm not a saint nor am I a god. I'm just someone who volunteered to lead the community. It was our BBQ night; we'd to prepare the food and everything. I went all the way to Hougang to pick up the beehoon and walked out from Downtown East to the car park outside to pick up the rest of the BBQ food. We also went for last minute shopping for the cutlery, grills and foil etc required for the BBQ. In the end, everything was prepared nicely for the whole group.
I didn't blame anyone for what happened next, I guess everyone was still strange to each other. I was appalled by their behaviors and reactions to all the food prepared and arranged nicely. They did NOTHING before and at that point of time, no one was willing to BUDGE to even remove the packaging of the food or even open up the boxes of BBQ food or anything else for that matter. NOTHING was the only word to the entire since I saw. Well of course, if you deem playing poker cards and Xbox in the room is as doing something and helping out.
I went speechless; I know I am not going to control my tears already. I immediately walked to the rear of the BBQ pits. It was a large area of BBQ pits so there was plenty of room for me to walk. I was back facing the entire group of 50 Ohanians. I broke down. I cried. I cannot control my tears but I cried. I do not know if I cry because I care too much about them or I am too tired. I do not really recall the entire thingy but one of an 'older' ohanian came over. He was quite puzzled at what happen to me and kept asking me what happen. I know I won't be able to talk properly I mumbled. He said something which I think I'll probably remember for life...
He spoke in chinese, "Sasa, look behind you. Look at what you've built from just 1 ohanian, to 50 over ohanians attending this chalet. Look at what you'd achieved over this 1 year"
I was touched and at the same time loss for words. It was the most memorable chalet I ever had. Before we end the chalet, we toasted together and shouted so loud that the nearby group of BBQers joins us in the 'yum seng'. That was when we cheered as one Ohana, one family of friends.
Universal Love, easier said than done.
Posted at 9:44 PM